Ballmer's $30 Million Curse: A Tale of Wizards and Woes

In a magical showdown, the wizard of wealth, Steve Ballmer, faced a $30 million curse for his salary-circumventing spells with star sorcerer Kawhi Leonard. Banned from all enchanted gatherings for a year, the Clippers now face a dark fate of losing five first-round draft picks, while the brave scribe Pablo Torre hints at more mystical trials ahead.