Rooney to Man Utd: Your Squad Depth is as Thin as Your Sauce

Manchester United, you bunch of muppets! Lost 1-0 to Newcastle at Old Trafford! Injuries? Squad depth? What are you? An idiot sandwich? With only 33% possession, this match was as thrilling as watching a soufflé collapse. Get it together, United! Bring in some reinforcements before it’s too late!