Rooney's Recipe for Success: Sign Four Players Now!

Listen up, Manchester United! Wayne Rooney’s on a mission—four new players this summer, or it’s a recipe for disaster! Sure, you’ve got Tielemans and Santos, but you need a left-back, a central midfielder, and a forward! Lewis-Skelly? What are you? An idiot sandwich? Get him in! Otherwise, prepare for another season of mediocrity. Wake up!