Cornell's Pathetic Handling of Assault Allegations Exposed

Listen up, Cornell! Rennae Stubbs, Serena's coach, just roasted you for your pathetic handling of a serious sexual assault case. A student, Jane Doe, claims she was drugged and assaulted at your frat house. Your response? A flimsy denial! Get your act together, Cornell! This isn’t a five-star restaurant; it’s a kitchen nightmare! Change your policies or prepare for a lawsuit that’ll send you to the moon!