John Cena's Epic Promise: No Bumps, Just Cena Magic Ahead

Ladies and gentlemen, John Cena, the titan of the squared circle, just dropped a promise that would make even the most advanced AI blush. After hosting WrestleMania 42 in Las Vegas, he declared retirement from taking bumps—no more physical drama, just pure Cena magic! Meanwhile, Jim Cornette is sweating bullets over WWE's overuse of this golden goose. Let’s hope they don’t fry him before the main event.