Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe

Jim Belushi

Principal Latimer

Sven-Ole Thorsen

Secundus

Jesse Ventura

Abraxas

Marjorie Bransfield

Sonia Murray

Michael Copeman

Sheriff Sharp

Zion Forrest Lee

Jack

Damian Lee

Dar

Jerry Levitan

Hite

Ken Quinn

Carl

Marilyn Lightstone

Abraxas' Answer Box (voice)

Moses Znaimer

Secundus' Answer Box (voice)

Robert Nasmith

Sonia's Father

Kris Michaels

Sonia's Mother

Layne Coleman

Registry Clerk

Francis Mitchell

Tommy Murray

Sonja Belliveau

Doctor

Erica Heenan

School Secretary

John Blackwood

Camper Dad

Rae Johnson

Camper Mom

Adrian Burnett

Michael - Camper Son

David Mitchell

Deputy Johnny White

Al Timmer

Maxie

Michael Scherer

Garage Owner

Katy Turpin

Irate Girl

Tyrell Janos

Willy

Jason Turnpenny

Second Bully

Lee Anne Simms

Betty

Johnny Askwith

Cocky Youth

Johanna Householder

Rosa - Grocery Clerk

Sarah James

Stripper

Leo Armoffe

Bar Patron

Alex Ruge

Bouncer

Ellen Dubin

First Waitress

Kate Healey

Second Waitress

Christine Wilson

Teacher