Keeping Up Appearances

Hyacinth Bucket, a suburban matron from the West Midlands who insists her name is pronounced 'Bouquet', would tell you she is a gracious hostess, a respected citizen, and a well-connected member of high society. If you don't believe it, just ask her best friend Elizabeth, held captive in Hyacinth's kitchen; or the postmen and neighbours who bristle at the sound of her voice; or Richard, her weary and compliant husband. In truth, Hyacinth's reputation could be as flawless as her new lounge set, if not for her senile father's love of running wild in the nip. And she would prefer it if her brother-in-law were a sharper dresser, if her husband were more ambitious, and if her sisters were more presentable. And do take your shoes off before you come in the house, dear. Mind that you don't brush against the wallpaper.