Canada Gears Up for US Invasion as Likely as Raw Chicken

Listen up, Canada! Prime Minister Mark Carney is preparing for a US invasion that's about as likely as a soufflé from a novice chef. Military experts say it's a long shot, so chill out! Your defenses are as solid as a perfectly cooked steak, thanks to NATO and NORAD. No need to panic; just keep your kitchen sharp and your borders sharper!